BH
The Baal Tshuva In Dating and Marriage
The issue: Should a B.T. marry a B.T. and an F.F.B. marry an F.F.B. preferable,or there is no rule.
Or, it makes no difference; one can and should can marry the other as long as they have the same values and commitment to Torah and each other.
In attempting to answer this question, i believe you really need to look at what the Torah says about marriage in general, and then see how it is applicable to our case.
The Talmud ( Sotah 2:1 ) teaches, that matching two people together in marriage is as difficult as splitting the sea.
Yet it also teaches, that before a child is born, the match is already made.
The Talmud explains that in a first marriage, the match is made before the child is born, while in a second marriage, it depends on the persons good actions and deeds, and is hence "difficult" for G-d to match them.
We see then, that in marriage there are two possibilities; "A Match Made in Heaven" - his or her "Mazel" . Or a partner based on the person's own "worthiness" .
In the first case one can get better or worse then what they deserve in the second, each one gets exactly what they deserve.
Never the less, upon reflection, one might say that every marriage is really a combination of both; "Mazel"- and "Good Deeds".
Why? Because every marriage needs work, in order for it to succeed, i.e. "good deeds" even if it is "made in heaven". And also a "match" that is based on the person qualities; "good deeds" is also "Made in Heaven", for as Jews we believe all is "Bashert"; from Hashem!
Every marriage is really, both made in heaven and in earth;
"Mazal" and "Good Deeds".
The difference between them is only the process Hashem uses to bring them together.
However"Hishtadlus"; doing your part is necessary in any marriage, both before you marry as well as once you marry.
Combined with this is "Siata Dishmaie" "heavenly assistance that your efforts succeed to lead you to the right choice, whom to marry and once married to to keep you marriage good!
In practice we find in Halacha ( Jewish Law) that though a marriage may be made in "heaven" , we do do not delay a prospective match, because another might “come first” and take it away.
Even things made in heaven need our help!
Of the "Hishtadlus" -"doing our part", is researching the prospective match.
This we find in the biblical match between Aharon HaKohen and Elisheva, the verse, in describing the match, states (Shemot 6: 23) that Elisheva was, "Achos Nachshon"; the sister of Nachshon.
Rashi comments and says; "From here we see, how before one marries a women, they should check out her brothers".
The Talmud (Ba'ba Basra 110.1) explains that this is due to to the fact, that most of the children will be like the brothers of the mother.
The children's uncles.
We are not referring here to the “Kashrut” of the lineage; i.e. if they are permitted to marry, if they are Jewish , had a kosher conversion, where born from a legitimate kosher marriages etc. (See Torah Tem'mima Chumash note 15).
We are speaking if the children of the marriage , will be righteous.
In the case of Elishiva, her brother Nachshon, was the leader of the tribe of Yehuda and indeed , this contributed to Aharon giving birth to a great Tzadik ; Pinchas .
Yet, what of the girl and her own virtues not only what kind of children they will have?
Is then a marriage only for the purpose of having children?
One can marry for many right reasons besides the Mitzvah of have children (see Shulchan Aruch - Even Ezra).
Indeed we see how in the "Shidduch" of both Yitzchok and Yaakov Avenu, the qualities of the girl, mattered not only lineage.
(though they could not marry any one from Canaan....and Rivkah and Rachel, where really from Avrohom's family...)
When Eleizer , Abraham's servant was looking for a match for Yitzchok he did not look at the brother of Rivkah, only if she would be willing to give them water.
The test was to see if she is kind and have a kind heart!
By Yaakov's match the commentaries (Sefsie Chachomim) point out, that though Rachel had an evil father, Lavan , she still was a righteous women.
Never the less, we see, that it was actually due to Rivkah having a wicked brother, Lavan, she had a wicked son; Esau (see Maharsha B.B. 110 .1 ) !
We can surmise form all this that "yichus"; marrying into a religious family and one which has scholars and righteous people in it, is very important (See Shulchan Aruch Even Ezra Siman 2 Seaf 6) .
Yet personal virtue and character is of equal importance.
For the children to have a better chance of being good, it helps if they have,"yichus"-"lineage", "Zchut Avot" "merits of the father".
However as far as the success of the marriage itself, it is the personal character and virtue that matter most.
Thus , when looking for a prospective marriage partner, one should try to find one that has both:
a) good family roots and ancestry.
b) good personal character and quality.
At times I hear Baali Tshuva complaining, when it comes to a "shidduch",
of the hypocrisy of the F.F.B. community
Though the F.F.B. community may extol the virtues of the B.T. , the B.T. claims , and say they welcome them into the community.
When it comes to a "shidduch", they will not let their son or daughter marry one.
In truth, I have seen very successful marriage between B.T. and F.F.B.
Personally, I think, like in every marriage, the issue is a question of the character and values of the people involved.
Not of the background alone, F.F.B. or a B.T.
However, being that a marriage is about compatibility, it makes perfect sense that each, should try to marry, one of similar background and experiences.
A, F.F.B. that marries another F.F.B. and B.T. that marries another B.T., that share similar backgrounds and experiences might have a better chance of success.
This does not take away the need to work on communication and being good to each other!
But there is more compatibility in the marriage and understanding.
So it does make some sense that a B.T. should marry a B.T. and an F.F.B. should marry and F.F.B.
Another argument is the a F.F.B. , having been brought up in a "frum" home, and seen the sanctity of marriage, might work harder to make it work out.
If Gd forbid ,a marriage is going bad, to be more prone to "suffer" a bad marriage for the sake of the children.
While a B.T. being brought up in a secular environment, where self happiness and fulfillment matters more. Especially in the U.S.A., might end a marriage quicker nor wish to put in the same effort or suffer through it until the children are older.
They will put their personal happiness before the children's need for happiness and stability in the home.
But again, this is not always the case, nor necessary better.
We can find a F.F.B. person who has drifted away from yiddishkiet, and might stay in a marriage for the "sake of the children" ....yet kill the marriage every day.
Unfortunately this can happen both to a male or female partner, they are married but living alone at home. A "home alone" aguna- agun.
In summation we see that the person one marries, is both a personal choice and "Bashert".
There is no absolute rule whether one should marry only of "good stock" or marry one of "good nature" .
Whether a B.T. should marry a B.T. or a F.F.B. an F.F.B.
It’s really a blend of both as well of compatibility to each other.
At times, people who come from similar backgrounds might be better and at times it makes no difference or is not better that way at all.
What is important, is that they:
1) Are physical, mentally and emotionally healthy.
2) Have good character; patient, not demanding, kind.
3) Have "Yirat Shomaim", the same moral and Torah values and "frumkiet".
4) Desire the same type of home and chinuch for children.
5) Able to communicate their needs and wants clearly.
6) Able to show emotions and affection.
7)Physical attraction.
8) On the same page as to how important or not important materiel wealth is.
9) A happy and mature person. Not blame others.
10) Able to deal with stressful situations.
11) Think positive for the future.
12) See the good and believe that all that occurs is from Hashem.
As for the issue of "yichus" and the children following that nature of the brothers...
Think for a moment; In a marriage first the couple , meet , marry and live together then they have, Gd willing, children.
Later, after the children marry, G-d willing, they are again alone with each other. What then?
The essence of the marriage is the couple , not the children!
Secondly,If the couple cannot get along with each other , how will they raise children together?
As for the yichus, perhaps we can say:
a) A marriage that has respect, love and goodness. Parents that are good examples to emulate, is the best way to have good children, Bezras Hashem!
b) Tshuva is so powerful, that it acts as an antidote to past deeds and even family linage.
Tshuva has the power , can and does over come even family pedigree and will insure good children!
Two stories.
1- The Mazritcher Maggid zatzal, when a child had his home burnt down g-d forbid.
His mother wept.
The Maggid asked why so many tears. She said that there was a letter that had all of their "yichus” written down and now it is lost. The Maggid then said to his mother; “do not worry. A new "yichus" will start with me. And so it was!
2-A great Rebbi once commented regarding "Yichus"; "it is like zeros on a check.... the more zeros the better but there needs to be a one before all the zeros...". "Yichus" actually obligates a person , not free's them from personal responsibility!
Next article Gd willing" The Baal Tshuva and the Shadchan
.
Monday, June 17, 2013
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
The Baal Thsuva : Mixed Marriages and Families Part 2
The Baal Thsuva : Mixed Marriages and Families Part 2
in honor of the Lubavitcher Rebbe's Birthday on 11 Nissan 5773
There is a famous Thsuva of Rabbi Moshe Fienstien Z"L ( Egros Moshe Yora Deah Chelek Alef) discussing the heter-"permissibility" of "cholov -stam" .
To explain, the Torah prohibits milk from non kosher animals i.e. camels, horses etc.
Chalav Yisroel : means that a Jew supervised the milking of the animal and saw it was from a kosher animal and nothing UN-kosher was mixed into it.
Chalav Akum : means milk that is from a gentle where no such supervision occurred and the suspicion of non-kosher milk being mixed into it is real.
Chalav Stam: is where though a Jew did not supervise the milking, there are other reasons that are strong enough to compel the gentile to only have in the milk the ingredients he say is there i.e. fear of government and loss of his license etc.
Hence R" Moshe says; though it is best to have "cholov yisroel, especialy for Jewish children, he explains that in the USA where a company has government regulation and supervision, it would not be worth for a company to lie and mix in non kosher milk when he claims it kosher. It would cost them more then what it is worth.
In terms of halacha this is called "mirsas" -fear, the gentile- company is afraid to lie.
Taking this a step further, we see Hashem allows his name to be erased in the case of a "Sota", the women who is suspected of being with another man outside of her husband.
G-d says erase my name to clarify whether this was indeed the case and allow the marriage to be saved.
From all of the above we have a few ideas to consider.
1- in the case where children are involved in a marriage and a spouse has decided to leave or be lax in yiddsihkiet. Would that qualify as the case of the child being taken away from yiddishkiet?
Is one allowed to "break" the shabbat to save the yiddishkiet of their children while they are at home being influenced by a family member to be lenient.
Perhaps we can not be mchalal a derosa- a biblical prohibition, nor can anyone say with certainty to desecrate a d'rabanon- rabbinic one, however the case here is that it is not you that is committing the sin but the person in the house who is not interested in yiddishhkiet at this time.
And they are encouraging or acting in away that says ; "this is a chumra" and unnecessary stringency" or "this is only derabonon" a rabbinic decree" or " its all fanaticism and just extreme"...regarding a custom or rabbinic fence i.e. muktza.
in a case like this a) its not you who are committing this sin b) nor is it due to your actions that that person is sinning c) we know that many children at risk and adults who have lost their love for yiddishkiet have been raised in broken homes. and in this case a family member is doing the "shmad" anti-religion campaign?
Now a) does the couple need to divorce r'l b) is a "macho" - protest needed every time, or is it enough you do it from time to time, being that every time a protest is made a family fight irrupts.
Is it in the right of the "frum" spouse to decide to stay in the marriage and not protest all the time and/ or allow some "kullolt" - lenience in the home , so that the family stays together.
There is a better chance that the children will have at least some yiddisjhkiet instaed of abondaining it all r"l.
take the case of chalav stam.
i know of a Baal Tshuva couple who married late in life, one was more committed then the other to Yiddishkiet. B"H they had children and one of them wanted only "cholov yisroel" in the home the other did not care and brought in "chalav stam". Every time the spouse would bring it home , when that one left the other would run to the fridge, freezer and remove it.
Now what is the issue?
Is the person feeding to it the children? Then yes you have a right to protest , as you both have a say in how to raise the children.
However what if it is for the personal use of that person and their taste of food.
They are not feeding it to anyone else in the family nor negating "chalav yisreol" they only refuse to budge due to personal preference.
Does the spouse have a right to remove it from the home?
Is the loss greater then the gain in long term?
Many cases can be discussed.
A Baal Tshuva child invited home to eat. The parents are insulted by their child's refusal to eat in their home. Must he demand every chumra or swallow at times their demands,
If say ,its not exactly the type of "hechsher"- kosher supervision he is used too ,as long as it is glatt kosher and a reliable kosher supervision should he accept it, or put up a fight?
And certainly not try to teach them.
Many cases can be discussed.
The question here is whether a Baal Tshuva finds themselves in a certain situations, may they according to Halacha- Jewish Law, rely on doing a "bedeved " an "after that fact " solution "Lechatchila- " from the start.
Of course each case much be discussed with a competent Orthodox Rav and the Rav must in addition to possessing knowledge of Jewish Law, must know "The Fifth Book of Shulchan Aruch" know as "Secehl" common sense.
G-d willing next issue " The Baal Tshuva and Dating"
Wishing all a Kosher , Healthy and Happy Yom Tov and Gelua Now!
Please follow my blog at http://rabbiyw.blogspot.com/
to email me send to rabbiyw@yahoo.com
i am available for lectures for a fee g-d willing.
The Baal Tshuva
B”H
The Baal Tshuva In mixed Marriges and Families Part One
This article is lyhilyu nishmas my mother Bluma Bas Esther a'h whose yatrziet is this Thursday 11 adar 5773.
may she be a gutta better for all her family
I believe one of the most difficult positions, a baal tshua may be in, is when as an individual they make a choice to become closer to Yiddsihkiet, and the rest of the family does not follow.
This issue can apply to a family that is religious and one member of the family decides to become lax in observance or "drop-out" g-d forbid.
Or in a family which is not yet religious and one member decides to become more so.
The challenge, to change direction in life, whether to become closer to G-d and His practice or G-d forbid the opposite , can be found in every family.
Whether a family and individual, who is originally from a religious background and wishes to become more observant and the family is pushing him back.
Or for one who is originally from a secular background and now wishes to practice and follow the strict letter of Torah law.
There is much pain and struggle here with all parties involved and it works both ways.
One the one hand, each person has the prerogative to live their life as they see fit , on the other hand, they have a responsibility to the people they have created a life with and committed themselves to, in the past, before they decided to change.
For a one to say ; "there is no discussion here! The Torah must be observed under all circumstances, and how the person who is making the change to become more religious is affecting others, is irrelevant"!
That is indeed true, Torah must be observed, but the issue here is not whether to keep Torah, but how to do so within Torah guidelines, with out destroying a family unnecessarily.
How it is done is the key.
The same one cannot say to the person failing in their observance; "You are destroying your family and must begin to return to Torah at once! Or else leave the family! ".
That too is in appropriate.
A better and more functional approach, which can hopefully keep the family together, and allow each individuals freedom, and yet respects the same in the other, is to find a Halachic way.
One which would allow under the circumstances, and case to case basis,
what can be compromised and what can not!
The key issue here is achieving balance, between personal choice and familial responsibility through compromise.
The question boils down to:
How much is one obligated to give in for "Shalom Bais" - Peace in the Home"?
How does one juggle the stability of the home and yet be true to yourself ? To keep the continuity of the family structure and yet live your life what you believe you are or have become, when the family, "your" family, seems now, not be you anymore.
Let us look to Torah.
Our Sages discuss regarding whether one may sin, in order to save another from sinning.
Do we say "Chet, B'shvil Sh'yizka Chavercho"; "Sin, in order that you friend should not commit any sin"; or even a greater one.
The Talmud ( Sabbath 4:1) discuss a case where one put bread into an oven on Sabbath "bmazid;on purpose, do we allow him to remove the bread, before it gets baked or not.
If the bread is allowed to bake , being he put it in on purpose'"b'mezed",he will be "chayav" - found guilty of purposeful desecration of Sabbath, which carries with it "skila", the death penalty.
Or is another allowed to remove the bread, for him.
Is one allowed to do an "issur kal" -light prohibition" (Rashi) to saves his friend from a "onash chomer" -severe punishment" (Rashi).
Tosfot on the page ( Shabbat 4:1 ) comments, that at times we do allow one to commit a light sin to save another from sinning, in these cases.
1- When the sin the other will do, is somehow due to you own actions, we commit a "light sin" to help another avoid a "grave one".
2- The more serious sin has not been done yet.
3- when the serious sin, if allowed un-checked, will affect the "rabim" public.
4-when there is duress, or a situation that is forced, we take precautions to remove that situation by committing a light sin to save from a more severe on.
Hence, Tosfas, concludes that the case of the person who put in the bread, does not have any of these issues, and one would be prohibited for another to remove the bread.
Rabbi Shneur Zalmen of Liadi in his Shulchan Aruch writes (Hilchot Shabbat 306:29)
in the case where a person daughter is kidnapped, g-d forbidm to remove her from Judaism. The father is obligated to desecrate the Sabbath to save her. Whether his success is certain or not, as in the case with physical well being, the same with spiritual well being, we "break" the Sabbath even for a doubt. (see kuntros achron).
The logic being that "best to desecrate one Sabbath then to have her desecrate many", in this case, if not saved, she will stop keeping Sabbath all together.
Not only is the father obligated to do this for his own daughter but even for another persons daughter, there is a mitzvah to save her, even if it means doing "melecho-gemura" "absolute-work" on Sabbath.
However, in a case that the issue is not to remove the individual from Judaism, but only to commit a single sin, then we may not desecrate the Sabbath, however we may "break" a rabbinic rule, so that another should not commit a more serious one.
Only in the case where the person himself has chosen to commit the sin. As in the case of the putting in the bread on Sabbath , on purpose is one not obligated to remove the bread to save their friend from a graver sin.
G-d willing next issue how this applies in Mixed Marriage and Family's of various observance.
A Happy Purim to All and Miracles in our Lives.
to contact me please email rabbiyw@yahoo.com
The Baal Tshuva In mixed Marriges and Families Part One
This article is lyhilyu nishmas my mother Bluma Bas Esther a'h whose yatrziet is this Thursday 11 adar 5773.
may she be a gutta better for all her family
I believe one of the most difficult positions, a baal tshua may be in, is when as an individual they make a choice to become closer to Yiddsihkiet, and the rest of the family does not follow.
This issue can apply to a family that is religious and one member of the family decides to become lax in observance or "drop-out" g-d forbid.
Or in a family which is not yet religious and one member decides to become more so.
The challenge, to change direction in life, whether to become closer to G-d and His practice or G-d forbid the opposite , can be found in every family.
Whether a family and individual, who is originally from a religious background and wishes to become more observant and the family is pushing him back.
Or for one who is originally from a secular background and now wishes to practice and follow the strict letter of Torah law.
There is much pain and struggle here with all parties involved and it works both ways.
One the one hand, each person has the prerogative to live their life as they see fit , on the other hand, they have a responsibility to the people they have created a life with and committed themselves to, in the past, before they decided to change.
For a one to say ; "there is no discussion here! The Torah must be observed under all circumstances, and how the person who is making the change to become more religious is affecting others, is irrelevant"!
That is indeed true, Torah must be observed, but the issue here is not whether to keep Torah, but how to do so within Torah guidelines, with out destroying a family unnecessarily.
How it is done is the key.
The same one cannot say to the person failing in their observance; "You are destroying your family and must begin to return to Torah at once! Or else leave the family! ".
That too is in appropriate.
A better and more functional approach, which can hopefully keep the family together, and allow each individuals freedom, and yet respects the same in the other, is to find a Halachic way.
One which would allow under the circumstances, and case to case basis,
what can be compromised and what can not!
The key issue here is achieving balance, between personal choice and familial responsibility through compromise.
The question boils down to:
How much is one obligated to give in for "Shalom Bais" - Peace in the Home"?
How does one juggle the stability of the home and yet be true to yourself ? To keep the continuity of the family structure and yet live your life what you believe you are or have become, when the family, "your" family, seems now, not be you anymore.
Let us look to Torah.
Our Sages discuss regarding whether one may sin, in order to save another from sinning.
Do we say "Chet, B'shvil Sh'yizka Chavercho"; "Sin, in order that you friend should not commit any sin"; or even a greater one.
The Talmud ( Sabbath 4:1) discuss a case where one put bread into an oven on Sabbath "bmazid;on purpose, do we allow him to remove the bread, before it gets baked or not.
If the bread is allowed to bake , being he put it in on purpose'"b'mezed",he will be "chayav" - found guilty of purposeful desecration of Sabbath, which carries with it "skila", the death penalty.
Or is another allowed to remove the bread, for him.
Is one allowed to do an "issur kal" -light prohibition" (Rashi) to saves his friend from a "onash chomer" -severe punishment" (Rashi).
Tosfot on the page ( Shabbat 4:1 ) comments, that at times we do allow one to commit a light sin to save another from sinning, in these cases.
1- When the sin the other will do, is somehow due to you own actions, we commit a "light sin" to help another avoid a "grave one".
2- The more serious sin has not been done yet.
3- when the serious sin, if allowed un-checked, will affect the "rabim" public.
4-when there is duress, or a situation that is forced, we take precautions to remove that situation by committing a light sin to save from a more severe on.
Hence, Tosfas, concludes that the case of the person who put in the bread, does not have any of these issues, and one would be prohibited for another to remove the bread.
Rabbi Shneur Zalmen of Liadi in his Shulchan Aruch writes (Hilchot Shabbat 306:29)
in the case where a person daughter is kidnapped, g-d forbidm to remove her from Judaism. The father is obligated to desecrate the Sabbath to save her. Whether his success is certain or not, as in the case with physical well being, the same with spiritual well being, we "break" the Sabbath even for a doubt. (see kuntros achron).
The logic being that "best to desecrate one Sabbath then to have her desecrate many", in this case, if not saved, she will stop keeping Sabbath all together.
Not only is the father obligated to do this for his own daughter but even for another persons daughter, there is a mitzvah to save her, even if it means doing "melecho-gemura" "absolute-work" on Sabbath.
However, in a case that the issue is not to remove the individual from Judaism, but only to commit a single sin, then we may not desecrate the Sabbath, however we may "break" a rabbinic rule, so that another should not commit a more serious one.
Only in the case where the person himself has chosen to commit the sin. As in the case of the putting in the bread on Sabbath , on purpose is one not obligated to remove the bread to save their friend from a graver sin.
G-d willing next issue how this applies in Mixed Marriage and Family's of various observance.
A Happy Purim to All and Miracles in our Lives.
to contact me please email rabbiyw@yahoo.com
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
A Baal T’shuva’s Choices in Life and Torah part 3
This article is in memory of Reuven Shalom Ben Avrohom whose first yartziet is 26 Tevet 5773 a"h.
In the last article, we discussed the imperative to learn chassidut and mussar in order to serve g-d properly. With Talmud alone one cannot achieve true service of g-d.
In addition, even the persons study of Torah alone will be lacking, when a person does not study mussar and chassidut. His Torah knowledge and understanding itself will be incomplete.
In example, the Talmud in Tractate Yuma (85:2) quotes " Rabbi, Resh Lakish saying-
great is Tshuva through which "z'donot" - sins done on purpose "naso lo" , become for him "sh'gogut" inadvertent sins" .
The Talmud then brings another quote of Rabbi, Resh Lakish teaching- "great is Tshuva through which "z'donot" - sins done on purpose "naso lo" , become for him "zochios" - merits" .
This seems to contradict the teaching that says it only is considering "sh'gogut".
The Talmud answers this contradiction by explaining that "here it is out of fear and here it is out of love" .
One when does tshuva out of fear, the sins are considered accidental, when one does tshuva out of love, then the sins are considered as merits.
Rabbi Resh Lakish teach us:
a) Through tshuva one can lessen the severity of the judgment and punishment, as the sins will be considered as being done inadvertently.
b) Even more, through thsuva one can get additional reward, for the acts earlier considered as sins are now considered as merits. He now has a greater number of merits; the merits of mitzvos and of sins that are now considered merits.
The M'harsha on this piece of Talmud (Talmud in Tractate Yuma - 85:2) asks; "Chota Niskar" - the sinner is profiting for having committed a sin!?
He then explains, that the meaning of the "sin" being considered "merits" refers to the additional good deeds, the baal tshuva does.
The ones he adds that are more then what is needed for his tshuva.
The "masim tovim"-" good deeds" that come out of "A'hava " love of Hashem.
Those additional good deeds, are "zochios" merits for the Baal Tshuva.
However, at the very end of the M'harsha's comments, on tshuva done out of love, the M'harsha says these words; "Ha'avon M'rutza K'zochios" -the sin is desirable as merits"...."Sh'Hachet G'ufa Naso Zchus"...for the sin itself has become a merit.
Which implies that it is not about the additional good deeds done that add to more merits but the sin themselves have become a merit?
To really understand this we need to study "P'nimious Ha'Torah; the inner aspect of the Torah.
In the Sefer Ha'Tanya (Chapter 7 ) Rabbi Shneor Zalmen Of Liadi explains how sins can be transformed into actual merits, by one who does tshuva m'ahava; love and "umko d'loba; depth of the heart and "ahava rabbah"; great love.
Using the example of one who is in a desert without water, who later thirst for water more then one who had the water all along. He explains how the sins done by a Baal Tshuva, before having done tshuva created a distance from g-d.
That distance from g-d is what actual now drives him to Tshuva and become the reason and force for his greater yearning, thirst and love for G-d that a tzadik does not have.
Meaning, the act of the sin never become a mitzva but they create a reason why to do tshuva.
Even more, they become a very powerful and positive force for doing more good then one who never sinned would ever do or even strive to do.
Hence the "zdonot" -sins become "zochios" merits themselves.
And it also explains why a Baal Tshuva is greater then a Tzadik.
Getting back to our earlier discussion of learning Chassidut and Mussar.
Chassidut illuminates this particular piece of Talmud in a way that was not clear before.
In addition it once again teaches us, how being a Jew is not only about achieving a greater reward in the world to come, but about transforming and elevating the physical world around you to become closer to g-d.
Tshuva, chassidut explains, has the power to undo the evil effect the sin had on the physical object with which the sin had been committed, with.
Not only can the Baal Tshuva purify himself and his soul, but the even the "zdonot"- physical object of the sin can be elevated and transformed into "zochiot" - merits and incorporated into the "Achdus Hashem" - Unity of G-d.
The Lubavitcher Rebbe explains (lLkkutie Sichos 15 page 247 / see note 33 and 44 ) how in essence we are all baal tshuva, once our souls come down to this world. For we all are doing "tshuva" ; returning to g-d our source.
Part of this tshuva is not only about returning our soul back to g-d, pure as it was before and receiving reward for that but to elevate the soul to a higher level then before. To reveal a deeper level of love to g-d, like a baal tshuva, then the love it had to g-d before it descended into this world.
But and an even more important achievement then elevating the soul and receiving reward in the world to come and perhaps the main reason for the soul coming down, is to elevate the world and make it into a dwelling place for g-d.
Hence the meaning of the statement of our Sages "greater is one moment in tshuva and good deeds on this world then all of the life of the reward to come (Avot chapter 4:17).
For the world to come is all about the reward the soul receives, while this world is all about fulfilling g-d's will of Torah and Mitzvahs on earth.
So i ask you, which do you think is greater, g-d's will or our reward?!
Please see our add for our January 6th program with Rabbi Mizrachi in memory of Reuven Shalom Ben Avrohom a"h.
to contact me please email me at rabbiyw@yahoo.com
A Baal T’shuva’s Choices in Life and Torah part 3 # 9
In the last article, we discussed the imperative to learn chassidut and mussar in order to serve g-d properly. With Talmud alone one cannot achieve true service of g-d.
In addition, even the persons study of Torah alone will be lacking, when a person does not study mussar and chassidut. His Torah knowledge and understanding itself will be incomplete.
In example, the Talmud in Tractate Yuma (85:2) quotes " Rabbi, Resh Lakish saying-
great is Tshuva through which "z'donot" - sins done on purpose "naso lo" , become for him "sh'gogut" inadvertent sins" .
The Talmud then brings another quote of Rabbi, Resh Lakish teaching- "great is Tshuva through which "z'donot" - sins done on purpose "naso lo" , become for him "zochios" - merits" .
This seems to contradict the teaching that says it only is considering "sh'gogut".
The Talmud answers this contradiction by explaining that "here it is out of fear and here it is out of love" .
One when does tshuva out of fear, the sins are considered accidental, when one does tshuva out of love, then the sins are considered as merits.
Rabbi Resh Lakish teach us:
a) Through tshuva one can lessen the severity of the judgment and punishment, as the sins will be considered as being done inadvertently.
b) Even more, through thsuva one can get additional reward, for the acts earlier considered as sins are now considered as merits. He now has a greater number of merits; the merits of mitzvos and of sins that are now considered merits.
The M'harsha on this piece of Talmud (Talmud in Tractate Yuma - 85:2) asks; "Chota Niskar" - the sinner is profiting for having committed a sin!?
He then explains, that the meaning of the "sin" being considered "merits" refers to the additional good deeds, the baal tshuva does.
The ones he adds that are more then what is needed for his tshuva.
The "masim tovim"-" good deeds" that come out of "A'hava " love of Hashem.
Those additional good deeds, are "zochios" merits for the Baal Tshuva.
However, at the very end of the M'harsha's comments, on tshuva done out of love, the M'harsha says these words; "Ha'avon M'rutza K'zochios" -the sin is desirable as merits"...."Sh'Hachet G'ufa Naso Zchus"...for the sin itself has become a merit.
Which implies that it is not about the additional good deeds done that add to more merits but the sin themselves have become a merit?
To really understand this we need to study "P'nimious Ha'Torah; the inner aspect of the Torah.
In the Sefer Ha'Tanya (Chapter 7 ) Rabbi Shneor Zalmen Of Liadi explains how sins can be transformed into actual merits, by one who does tshuva m'ahava; love and "umko d'loba; depth of the heart and "ahava rabbah"; great love.
Using the example of one who is in a desert without water, who later thirst for water more then one who had the water all along. He explains how the sins done by a Baal Tshuva, before having done tshuva created a distance from g-d.
That distance from g-d is what actual now drives him to Tshuva and become the reason and force for his greater yearning, thirst and love for G-d that a tzadik does not have.
Meaning, the act of the sin never become a mitzva but they create a reason why to do tshuva.
Even more, they become a very powerful and positive force for doing more good then one who never sinned would ever do or even strive to do.
Hence the "zdonot" -sins become "zochios" merits themselves.
And it also explains why a Baal Tshuva is greater then a Tzadik.
Getting back to our earlier discussion of learning Chassidut and Mussar.
Chassidut illuminates this particular piece of Talmud in a way that was not clear before.
In addition it once again teaches us, how being a Jew is not only about achieving a greater reward in the world to come, but about transforming and elevating the physical world around you to become closer to g-d.
Tshuva, chassidut explains, has the power to undo the evil effect the sin had on the physical object with which the sin had been committed, with.
Not only can the Baal Tshuva purify himself and his soul, but the even the "zdonot"- physical object of the sin can be elevated and transformed into "zochiot" - merits and incorporated into the "Achdus Hashem" - Unity of G-d.
The Lubavitcher Rebbe explains (lLkkutie Sichos 15 page 247 / see note 33 and 44 ) how in essence we are all baal tshuva, once our souls come down to this world. For we all are doing "tshuva" ; returning to g-d our source.
Part of this tshuva is not only about returning our soul back to g-d, pure as it was before and receiving reward for that but to elevate the soul to a higher level then before. To reveal a deeper level of love to g-d, like a baal tshuva, then the love it had to g-d before it descended into this world.
But and an even more important achievement then elevating the soul and receiving reward in the world to come and perhaps the main reason for the soul coming down, is to elevate the world and make it into a dwelling place for g-d.
Hence the meaning of the statement of our Sages "greater is one moment in tshuva and good deeds on this world then all of the life of the reward to come (Avot chapter 4:17).
For the world to come is all about the reward the soul receives, while this world is all about fulfilling g-d's will of Torah and Mitzvahs on earth.
So i ask you, which do you think is greater, g-d's will or our reward?!
Please see our add for our January 6th program with Rabbi Mizrachi in memory of Reuven Shalom Ben Avrohom a"h.
to contact me please email me at rabbiyw@yahoo.com
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