A Baal T’shuva’s Choices in Life and Torah part 3 # 9
In the last article, we discussed the imperative to learn chassidut and mussar in order to serve g-d properly. With Talmud alone one cannot achieve true service of g-d.
In addition, even the persons study of Torah alone will be lacking, when a person does not study mussar and chassidut. His Torah knowledge and understanding itself will be incomplete.
In example, the Talmud in Tractate Yuma (85:2) quotes " Rabbi, Resh Lakish saying-
great is Tshuva through which "z'donot" - sins done on purpose "naso lo" , become for him "sh'gogut" inadvertent sins" .
The Talmud then brings another quote of Rabbi, Resh Lakish teaching- "great is Tshuva through which "z'donot" - sins done on purpose "naso lo" , become for him "zochios" - merits" .
This seems to contradict the teaching that says it only is considering "sh'gogut".
The Talmud answers this contradiction by explaining that "here it is out of fear and here it is out of love" .
One when does tshuva out of fear, the sins are considered accidental, when one does tshuva out of love, then the sins are considered as merits.
Rabbi Resh Lakish teach us:
a) Through tshuva one can lessen the severity of the judgment and punishment, as the sins will be considered as being done inadvertently.
b) Even more, through thsuva one can get additional reward, for the acts earlier considered as sins are now considered as merits. He now has a greater number of merits; the merits of mitzvos and of sins that are now considered merits.
The M'harsha on this piece of Talmud (Talmud in Tractate Yuma - 85:2) asks; "Chota Niskar" - the sinner is profiting for having committed a sin!?
He then explains, that the meaning of the "sin" being considered "merits" refers to the additional good deeds, the baal tshuva does.
The ones he adds that are more then what is needed for his tshuva.
The "masim tovim"-" good deeds" that come out of "A'hava " love of Hashem.
Those additional good deeds, are "zochios" merits for the Baal Tshuva.
However, at the very end of the M'harsha's comments, on tshuva done out of love, the M'harsha says these words; "Ha'avon M'rutza K'zochios" -the sin is desirable as merits"...."Sh'Hachet G'ufa Naso Zchus"...for the sin itself has become a merit.
Which implies that it is not about the additional good deeds done that add to more merits but the sin themselves have become a merit?
To really understand this we need to study "P'nimious Ha'Torah; the inner aspect of the Torah.
In the Sefer Ha'Tanya (Chapter 7 ) Rabbi Shneor Zalmen Of Liadi explains how sins can be transformed into actual merits, by one who does tshuva m'ahava; love and "umko d'loba; depth of the heart and "ahava rabbah"; great love.
Using the example of one who is in a desert without water, who later thirst for water more then one who had the water all along. He explains how the sins done by a Baal Tshuva, before having done tshuva created a distance from g-d.
That distance from g-d is what actual now drives him to Tshuva and become the reason and force for his greater yearning, thirst and love for G-d that a tzadik does not have.
Meaning, the act of the sin never become a mitzva but they create a reason why to do tshuva.
Even more, they become a very powerful and positive force for doing more good then one who never sinned would ever do or even strive to do.
Hence the "zdonot" -sins become "zochios" merits themselves.
And it also explains why a Baal Tshuva is greater then a Tzadik.
Getting back to our earlier discussion of learning Chassidut and Mussar.
Chassidut illuminates this particular piece of Talmud in a way that was not clear before.
In addition it once again teaches us, how being a Jew is not only about achieving a greater reward in the world to come, but about transforming and elevating the physical world around you to become closer to g-d.
Tshuva, chassidut explains, has the power to undo the evil effect the sin had on the physical object with which the sin had been committed, with.
Not only can the Baal Tshuva purify himself and his soul, but the even the "zdonot"- physical object of the sin can be elevated and transformed into "zochiot" - merits and incorporated into the "Achdus Hashem" - Unity of G-d.
The Lubavitcher Rebbe explains (lLkkutie Sichos 15 page 247 / see note 33 and 44 ) how in essence we are all baal tshuva, once our souls come down to this world. For we all are doing "tshuva" ; returning to g-d our source.
Part of this tshuva is not only about returning our soul back to g-d, pure as it was before and receiving reward for that but to elevate the soul to a higher level then before. To reveal a deeper level of love to g-d, like a baal tshuva, then the love it had to g-d before it descended into this world.
But and an even more important achievement then elevating the soul and receiving reward in the world to come and perhaps the main reason for the soul coming down, is to elevate the world and make it into a dwelling place for g-d.
Hence the meaning of the statement of our Sages "greater is one moment in tshuva and good deeds on this world then all of the life of the reward to come (Avot chapter 4:17).
For the world to come is all about the reward the soul receives, while this world is all about fulfilling g-d's will of Torah and Mitzvahs on earth.
So i ask you, which do you think is greater, g-d's will or our reward?!
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