The Baal Tshuva - A Perspective # 3

B”H


This article is in memory of my dear friend, Reuven Shalom Ben Avrohom a"h, a complete Bal

Tshuva, who passed on, Shabbat 26 Shvat of this year 5772.



Part 3 What makes a Bal T’shuva, do T’shuva? Suffering or Joy?


I remember listening to a tape, of a Rabbi M.F. who teaches and councils Balas T’shuva girls in

a Balas T’shuva school in the USA. He recounted this story.

There was a couple who had had recently married and come to him for advice.

Amongst other things discussed , Rabbi F. suggested that they observe the Mitzvah of Taharat

Ha’Mispocho- the Laws of Family Purity and Mikvah.

When the couple heard of this, they said: “Wow, we never heard of this, that is great idea”…


Rabbi F. , then asked them:

“Did you have a Rabbi who officiated your wedding? “Did you have a Chupa- a Jewish Marriage”?

They responded: “Yes. We had a Chupa and an Orthodox Rabbi officiated at the wedding.”

Rabbi M.F. did not respond but wondered; Why did the Rabbi not say anything to them, at their wedding.

A special mitzvah that is specifically for them.

Later he called the Rabbi and asked him. The Rabbis response was: “they did not look like

the type”.

The Alter Rebbe writes ( Tanya-Likuta Amorim Perek 2 ) that each Jew is a “Chelek Eloka Memal

Mamosh” – literally a part of G-d.

Which explains what Chasidus says in two expressions (Ha’Yom Yom 25 Tammuz):

1- A Jew recognizes G-dliness and that which is above nature, and needs no proof of it.

2- A Jew does not wish nor can separate themselves from G-d.

The reason for this is, because every Jew has in them, a piece of the essence of G-d.


The Bal Shem Tov (Hayom Yom 17 Iyar) wrote on the verse; “Ki T’hiya Attam Eretz Chefets Omar

Hashem”- that you (the Jewish people) are a desirable land, says G-d”.

The Bal Shem Tov explains this; "that as the greatest of all wise men, shall never fully grasp, the great

wealth that G-d has placed and hidden in the earth and land, at creation, so too none can fully grasp the

great spiritual wealth that is hidden inside every Jew.


The first rule of Kiruv, is never to look at the surface of the Jew but at the Neshomo; Soul.

The soul of every Jew desires G-dliness, even if they deny it. That is its true want, desire and reality.

The only way for the soul in a body to fulfill that need, is through Torah and Mitzvahs.

This is an actual Halachic fact in Torah Law.

The Rambam writes ( Nashim - Hilchot Gerushin 2: 20) regarding the case of a man who refuses to give

a “Get”- Jewish bill of divorce to his wife, even after the Beth Din- Jewish Court- has decided that by

Jewish Law he must do so.

The Beth Din has the right to beat him until he says yes, and orders the “Sofer”; scribe to write one for

him.

Once written the Beth Din submits it to his wife, as per the husband’s instruction and once she accepts it, the divorce is valid.

Even if later, the husband says that he was coerced; “I was beaten to comply”,

the bill is valid. Even though Jewish Law dictates that a “Get” must be given by the husband from his own

free will.

Why then is the “Get” kosher?

The Rambam explains (ibid), that once the Beth Din decides that he must give the “Get”, that becomes

Torah Law, and the observance of Torah Law, is the innate desire of every Jew.


That fact that he is protesting, is superficial, it is his body and evil inclination that is pushing him not to

listen to the Torah.

However once he gets beaten by the Beth Dins’ agent, his true will is revealed.

This is so not only with a “Get”, but in every case of Jewish law, The Torah is testifying to the true

"Ratzon-Will" of every Jew. This is, to do the will of G-d, as it is found in the Torah.



The Lubavitcher Rebbe was quoted as saying; “There are two types of Jews, one who puts on tiffilin and

one that does not put on tiffilin yet”.

However, there are none, who will never put on tiffilin, G-d forbid, in this lifetime or the next.

The Question is then; When and what will be the catalyst to bring out this real nature.

And the effectiveness of the person who is trying to reveal that G-dlly nature within.

This is important to know , when working on bringing a Jew back to Yiddishkiet

Do you view the Torah is an outside substance that the person must be convinced to accept, or is it

already inside them, waiting for the right catalyst and moment for it to be revealed.

Parenthetically it also tells on how we view the Yiddishkiet we ourselves are practicing.

Is it a part of us or an outside substance G-d forbid.


Regarding the catalyst, we do not really know what will trigger that innate desire. However G-d in His

Wisdom and Divine Providence, orchestrates events that bring His children back to Him.

(Lviltie yidach memanu nidach- Sefer Shmuel 2:14)

I know of a case, where a young Russian Jew was walking to work, on the way to the train, a Shul

needed a tenth man for a Minyan,

Someone from the Shul, went outside into the street to look for a “tenth” and found him walking by and

invited him in.

Once in, he asked questions and the people there began explaining the concept of a Minyan, the soul,


Kaddish etc. This was the catalyst that got him interested in learning more.


With time he became and is, thank G-d a fully observant Jew.


This particular person, must have had that desire, right underneath the surface, waiting for someone to

uncover it. For others, it can be far deeper and needs much digging.

There are many possible issues here as to why is the person not practicing Yiddishkiet;

Are they ignorant and never got the opportunity to learn, or are they rejecting it.

Is it past events and experiences with religious Jews?

Perhaps a personality issue or ideologically question…

Maybe it’s just a very strong desire to enjoy the physical world.

It is for you to understand, and help to overcome.


In addition there are as well, two general factors.

One positive and the other negative.

The Lubavitcher Rebbe writes in a letter ( Igras Kodesh ) that each and every Jew will eventually come

back to Judaism.

However for some it can be through goodness: G-d has given them abundance goodness and blessing

in their lives and they wonder why, and it leads them to G-d.

These people return to G-d because of an abundance of goodness in their lives.

Others G-d forbid, are suffering, and the pain and suffering makes them question the purpose of

their existence in this physical world. Why are they not succeeding? And they find Judaism.

They return to G-d because of suffering and pain, Hashem Yerachem.

However, ultimately, all Jews will return to G-d either in this life or another (Rambam).

G-d is usually patient with His children and allows time to pass, even if we do not yet observe His Law.

He also prefers we return to Him out of love and physical blessings and goodness not pain or suffering

G-d forbid.


In addition, it is very important to understand that:

1- We must love every Jew, regardless of practice or beliefs.

2-A Jew, even after sinning is still a Jew.

3-Most Jews today who do not practice, is not because they reject it out of understanding.

Todays Jews, are not like the "Apikoros"-; None-Believer, of old, they are rather, like a "Tinuk Shnishba" -"a-child raised up amongst the nations”. It is more an issue of lack of education and/or opportunity and/ or past negative

experiences. It can also be, that they cannot accept a certain law or teaching that they do

not agree with. And then just reject the whole thing because of it.


(see Rambam Hilchat Tshuva 3 on the terms- Apikoret-Mmin-Mummar-M'shumad- etc also see Igrat

Kodesh 2 letter 267 whether these terms apply today).


The Talmud teaches (Yuma 86.1) “Great is Tshuva for it brings healing to the world”.

In addition it brings healing to the person as well, as is written: V’shov Vrofo Lo-“and He will return and be healed”( Yishai 6:10)

In the end, the real reason why someone returns to Hashem, is that their soul drives them to it.

They do not feel right in life, and they are searching for it.


To conclude with a parable I heard from one of my teacher in chassidus R" Melech, that explains how the

soul will never be satisfied on earth, until it observes Torah and Mitzvahs, which connects it with what it

truly desires, G-d.


There was once a king who loved music. Every time a new musician or group would come, he would

have them play for him. Once, there was this beautiful song that was played and he,

loved it more than all others. After they left he yearned to hear it once more. Yet but did not

ask the name of the person playing it nor the name of the song

What did he do? He asked every musician that visited him to play music for him. Thinking, perhaps

amongst the songs these musician know, will be the one he is yearning for.

The king would have them play, song after song... after hearing a bit of it and seeing it was not "the

one", he would say "next" ..."next...

The same is with the subconscious of every Jew. The soul in every Jew has within it the "song from

heaven". Every Jew remembers the "song" of G-dliness, the source for where it has come and wishes

to return.

Once the soul descends down to earth it yearns for that "song"; its source. The connection with G-d,

and pleasure of G-dliness, but does not know where to find it.

So it seeks in all worldly pleasure, until it finds Torah and Mitzvahs.

This is the reason why a Jew will wander and experiment, with all forms of ideology and pursue all forms

of materialistic pleasure, for the soul is driving them to find the G-dly “song” contained only in Torah

and Mitzvah. Until the Jew/Soul finds that, they will keep exploring something new... and keep say;

"Next"...Next....


G-d willing next article:


part 4: Welcoming the Bal Tshuva into the community. Whose Job is it?

Too see more of my writings, please look at my blog :http://rabbiyw.blogspot.com/

I am also available G-d willing, for speaking engagements, lectures etc. a fee, to contact me,

Please email:

rabbiyw@yahoo.com

or call 1 646 595 6435

Thank you

y.winner

Congregation Israel of Kingsbay Brooklyn

The Baal Tshuva - A Perspective # 2

This article is in memory of my dear friend Reuvan Shalom Ben Avorhom a"h a complete Bal Tshuva, who passed on Shabbat 26 Tevet of this year.

What is a Baal Tshuva?

The Changing of Character or the Refraining of Sin.

The Rambam writes in Law of Tshuva (Chapter 2:1)

When a person who committed a specific sin, and is now faced with the exact same sin, in the same situation and ability and refrains from committing that sin on account of his wishing to do tshuva, that is called a complete tshuva.

The Rambam gives the example of a man who had forbidden relations with a women and now has another opportunity to do the same sin, with the same women, in the same place and time with the same passion and health etc. but refrains from doing so, not out of fear or lack of vigor or interest but because of tshuva; then he is a complete Bal T'shuva.


The Rambam continues however that, even if the person does tshuva in their old age on their death bed with all of their ability lacking, yet they regret have done the sins they did, that to is considered a tshuva (see Rambam tshuva chapter 2:1)

This rule and test can be applied in every case of sin that a person commits and whatever that person’s weakness is.

In example, if a person has a weakness for money and has stolen or cheated from others and now a new opportunity presents itself to steal or cheat under similar conditions as before, and the person refrains from do so because of tshuva, he is a complete Baal T'shuva.

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Or say a person has eaten non-kosher food and now decides to stop due to tshuva, while in good health, it is a complete tshuva. However even if they refrain because they have become ill g-d forbid and old and cannot eat those foods anymore due to illness and age, yet they regret in their hearts, having eaten the non-kosher food, even on their deathbed, it is considered tshuva. (See Rambam tshuva chapter 2:1).

However the highest level of tshuva is to do so while young and able, without other considerations involved, only for tshuva.

The Alter Rebbe Z"TL writes in his Sefer Ha'Tanya ( Igeras Ha' tshuva chapter one/ Talmud Sanhedrin chapter 3 / choshen mishpat sof siman 34) that though the essence of Tshuva is in the heart. To regret completely the sinful act in the heart and decide never to sin or rebel against G-d again or refrain from doing His will.

However the Alter Rebbe later adds, (In the end of chapter 9 - Tanna Divei Eliyahu) that in addition to refraining from the act of the sin, there is the need for the person to increase the amount of Torah he learns. (He elaborates there between tshuav ilyaha and tshuva tattaha- a lower and higher level of tshuva...)

The idea is that the person must change their "regelut" , habit.

This is also found in the Alter Rebbe's Torah Ohr (Parshat V'yachie page 47 right top side) where he writes: "This is the service of man to fight his nature for the love and fear of g-d, not so if his nature helps him, it is then not a perfect service".

In the laws of the Ramban as well (Laws of Tshuva chapter 2:4) the Rambam describing the path of the Baal Tshuva to:

1- Constantly cry out to G-d.
2-Give charity (see Sefer Ha'Tanya Igeras HaTshuva chapter 2)
3-Stay away from the object of his sin.
4-To change his name, as if to say I am a new person.
5-To change his general behavior and to do good.
6-To move away from his home; exile atones because it makes a person humble.

Hence we see the Baal Tshuva needs to work on acquiring the trait of humility.

See also the next Halacha (Rambam chapter 2:5). "If out of pride one hides his sin.... he will not attain complete tshuva".

I believe the Rambam and the Alter Rebbe, is teaching us something very important here. That in order for the person to be a true Baal Tshuva, in addition to not doing the sinful act again there is a need for the person to change himself and his character.

Just because the person has stopped sinning it does not mean he has become a better person in every respect. Inside he might be the exact same person and character except he now uses that same character and drive that he used earlier to sin he now uses in order to do mitzvahs.


The Talmud discuss the idea of Noval B'Rrshus Ha'Torah..."a despicable person with the permission of the torah" so to speak...

The person is following the letter of the law but has not internalized its idea nor become a better person or Yid inside.

This applies to every Jew, whether the person is a Baal Tshuva or a FFB. Though that person has stopped eating non-kosher-keeps Shabbat-gives charity-celebrates holidays etc., the person has not refined them selves.

It is the same person in a different garb.


This is all very deep and I believe over looked in the tshuva process, a very key factor of the tshuva process is trying to become a better person. Working on your traits of arrogance, anger, competitiveness, humility, and forbearance. Haughty, perfectionist, indulgence. Say the person is a type A personality who is a perfectionist or needs to win at all cost, or a quarrelsome person. He now has religion as a cause to fight and look down on people.

“Nothing like a g-dly cause for a good fight...."


What must be looked at, in addition to the acts that need correction are the, motives behind them and the Midos ; the character of the heart.

There is a need to circumcise the heart.

As we said before quoting the Alter Rebbe in Torah Ohr regarding a person whose nature has not changed. If he is angry and short tempered by nature and has done tshuva but has not changed his anger, he will still get angry, (which comes from arrogance... see Sefer HaTanya Lekuite Amarim chapter 1) but now become angry over spiritual things and Torah and Mitzvos instead of food and physical desires.

One the one hand it is better but on the other hand it is worse, they now have g-d and self-righteousness to fuel that anger.


Even in the case of a person being good-natured by birth. A person who has a good heart, who likes to give charity, study, stay away from lewd behavior by nature a "book worm," or "goody goody" type. Though good in that the person is now not sinning and is helping people but still not really an "Oved" Hashem (see Tanya L'Ktaie Amorim Chapter 15...) an active servant of g-d, having not really changed himself and nature for Him.

Let us conclude with the words of the Previous Lubavitcher Rebbe Z"TL (Sefer Hamamorim 5709). There is "Tshuvas Hageder" - "Tshuvas Hamishkal" and "Dorshin";

Tshuvas Hageder; is when the person puts up a fence, a "geder", like one would put up around an animal to fence it in. "To close the eyes from looking at what it desires and stuff up the ears from hearing what it wants"...

Tshuvas Hamishkol; is a "mishkol" a weight or measure. "The exact way he was first bound and dedicated to worldly affairs, in this same way he must give himself over to kedusha-holiness"...

Dorshin means: "to search and find the "dakus ho'rah" the more subtle evil within and to remove it. To be "bar-lav- a pure and cleansed heart.

In summation the true Baal Tshuva and true way to serve G-d, for every Jew, is by changing the very nature of the natural inclination, to work to break their very nature.
Whether good nature or bad and focus on transcending it and all limitations both within and without, in order to do return G-d.



G-d willing next article:

What makes a Bal Tshuva do tshuva? Suffering or Joy.



too see more of my writings please look at my blog :http://rabbiyw.blogspot.com/

I am also available for speaking engagements and the like for fee, to contact me email

rabbiyw@yahoo.com

or call 1 646 595 6435

Thank you

y.winner

cong. israel of kingsbay brooklyn