B”H
This article is dedicated to my dear friend, Reuven Shalom Ben Avrohom a’h, are true Baal Thsuva, who passed away this year on Shabbat 26 Tevet 5772
The Baal Tshuva Guru
The Instant Baal Tshuva
The Character of a Teacher
The Risks of a Kiruv Rechokim Professional
The Kiruv Professional
The Instant Baal Tshuva.
Tshuva itself takes a moment. It entails the person making the decision to change. The rest is the process.
However, when a person who is called a Kiruv professional claims to have made thousands of Baal Tshuva,
I raise an eye brow and wonder.
Are they saying; “I, through my power of speech, charisma, and answers to all their questions, so amazed them, that they became instant complete Baal Tshuva”?
I remember listening to a program featuring a “Kiruv Professional” speaking and answering various questions from people in the crowd. At one point in the program, a fellow challenges the Rabbi with some tough questions, the Rabbi answers him. Then the Rabbi challenges the questioner and before you know it, with the crowd cheering in the back, the person has committed himself to putting on a Kipa, Tzitzit, keeping Shabbat, going back to yeshiva, eating kosher etc…all with the sound of a loud Shofar blast being blown in the back ground.
Ok. I might be exaggerating a bit, however the idea that a person is able to transform another person’s life with one speech on a radio program, to me is questionable.
One must know that there is a difference between inspiring a person and transforming a person. A person into Kiruv needs to understand that “making a Baal Tshuva”, is a process and does not happen overnight. Actually the opposite is true, if the person changes to fast, it is a good indication that the change will not last.
We find this concept with the Jews entering the Land of Israel for the first time, where G-d advices them: “Mat Mat Agorashenu” (Exodus 23:30). - “Bit by bit should you chase them away”-the enemy. So you have time to inhabit it. If you conquer the land too quickly and have rid the land of its enemies, but not yet completed settled it, then animals shall roam in it.
The same is true, with a change to Torah and Mitzvoth, one that is too quick indicates that the person has not internalizing the change. He might be too caught up in the external part of observance and dress instead of inner change. Though he has left beyond his previous practices, he still has not as of yet absorbed the new ones into his self being.
True, the practice of Torah and Mitzvahs in and of itself is good, however without deeper understanding and what Chassidim call; ‘P’nemious’ –inwardness-, it will not last the test and struggles of time and life.
When a struggle comes up, which is inevitable being part and parcel of being a Jew and even more so for a Baal Tshuva, there is a greater chance of him abandoning it.
I recommend asking the Baal Tshuva Professional who claims to have made “thousands” of Baal Tshuva.
What does the number “thousand” mean? Does it refer to people who came to the course and where inspired or to the people who transformed their lives. The ones that were followed up with and guided to complete observance through the ups and down of the Baal Tshuva struggle. Or the ones that were added to an email list?
I know a case where a family attended a course where Torah Codes where used as a proof for the Truth of the Torah. The husband was so inspired that when they came home he encouraged them to transform the home to complete Torah observance immediately. A short while later, the wife says to her husband: “This is way too much” and they needed to cut back. Today the husband who was all inspired is hesitant to “push” Yiddshkiet again.
Of course each family dynamic is different and Torah Codes are a good tool. But a true transformation takes years and years not to mention a lot of hand holding and ups and downs.
The Character of a Teacher
The book of Malachi of the Minor Prophets (Malachi 2:7) describes the person who one should “seek rulings from his mouth; for he is K’Malach Elokim””… a messenger of G-d. Our Sages teach us that if you wish to accept a person as your teacher you should search for one who resembles a “Malach Elokim” – an angel of G-d. Perhaps the idea of an angel is that they have no character flaw; no jealousy, anger or arrogance amongst them. More so they convey G-d’s message without personal prejudices but as it truly is.
A person who is “Mekarav” brings closer, other Jews to Judaism is in a very precarious position. He is teaching and representing the Torah; a knowledge and way of life of Divine origin. The Baal Tshuva looks up to him for explanation of its meaning and for example in how to implement it.
The Kiruv Professional, with so many people turning to him, runs the risk of thinking of themselves to be a “Malach Elokim” without really being one.
The beginner who fundamentally lacks knowledge in Torah can be mislead very easily. The Kiruv Professional through arrogance, self honor, not wishing to look bad, may portray the wrong picture of Torah, by giving information that has not been thoroughly thought through, or worse, incorrect.
That fact that so many look to them makes them think they are infallible.
What is ironic is that many Baal Tshuva themselves do not see this. They are attracted by exactly that type of person who, though intellectually might have the answer to their questions, have character traits that are not exactly like an angel.
I wonder, could it be that they have mistaken the Kruv Professional’s arrogance for confidence?
Is it the need to have definitive answers, whether right or wrong, that makes them not see?
Or perhaps it is the desire of not wanting to think for yourself and have a life that all the thinking is done for you and seems to fit into a perfect picture.
part 2
The Risks of a Kiruv Rechokim Professional
The Kiruv Professional
Risks of a Kiruv Rechokim Professional
I believe the first rule for the Kiruv Professional himself, is “Asia Lcho Rav” – “Make for yourself a Teacher” ( Avoth Chapter 1: 16). The KP needs a teacher/ mentor to whom he can expose his heart and soul too, when he feels the need for “chizuk” , a “tikkun” or for advice.
This Rav will act as a guide and guard him towards the right approach needed to bring Jews closer to Judaism and Truth. Correct him when his words seem to be leaving the path of traditional Judaism or he himself develops character flaws i.e. believing too much in himself or falling.
The second rule is the idea to be constantly doing Kiruv. To constantly remember what your purpose is. When one is occupied in giving one is less likely to be on the receiving end. In the laws of salting meat in order to remove its blood, ( Y.D. Hlichot Melicha 7:1) one is allowed to put many pieces of meat together on the same board, without fear that the meat will reabsorb the blood into itself or from other pieces once it oozed out.
The reason is “Aide D’Polat Lo Bola” – “When it is spitting out (blood) it does not swallow” (blood).
A person who is constantly influencing others to follow Judaism, is less likely to absorb negative influences. To remember that being a KP does not mean you are a social worker or a friend. True, you are that and more however do not forget you represent Torah and Judaism.
As long as you are teaching and giving, this will protect from absorbing the negative influences.
Third, as the Lubavitcher Rebbe pointed out many times in his talks on this topic. (Hisvadus). Apply the teachings of Hillel, (Avoth Chapter 1:12): “Be Like the students of Aaron, Love peace, pursue peace ….and bring them closer to Torah”.
To “Bring them closer to Torah”- Not to bend Torah, in order to bring it closer to them! Do not think it is okay to compromise the values of Torah and Jewish Law to make the Torah more appealing to the people you are reaching out to.
Packaging is important, but the substance and practice must remain true.
In additional, for one who is a follower of a Rebbe, Rosh Ha’Yeshiva ect., who is involved in Kiruv, a powerful protection, blessing and "Siyato Dishmao" - "heavenly assistance", for success is their connection to that person.
For Chabad Chassidim there is the concept of being a “Shliach”- messenger of the Rebbe. This gives additional protection and spiritual strength to follow the right path and succeed.
The principle of “Shlucho Shel Adam K'moso” – “The messenger of a person is like the person himself” (Talmud Kiddushin 41:2).
A Shliach sent by his Rebbe or a KP being guided by a person greater then themselves, helps the Shliach/Kiruv Professional feel empowered with greater divine assistance and as well the knowledge they will need to answer to someone above them.
The Rebbe or Teacher is like the ‘Malach Elokim” a teacher should be and helps them succeed.
If however a KP acts on his own, answerable to no one but himself. Overly confident in themselves to strike forth and create their own institutions or programs without any connection to higher authority. They then run the risk of becoming they own B.T Guru an idol G-d forbid for others to worship.
Unfortunately American Jewish history has shown no lack of such personages who began as Kiruv professional with good intent and over the years became very lenient in Judaism at best.
At worst, creating their own brand of Judaism and becoming a complete separate entity from any form of tradition Judaism G-d forbid.
The Kiruv Professional
On a general note, the whole concept of needing a KP; someone training to do Kirov is a misnomer.
I remember a “Fabrengan”- public gathering of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, where he discussed the term “Kiruv Rechokim” – “ Bringing closer those who are far” , used to describe bringing Jews closer to Judaism, as inappropriate.
The Rebbe explained that the term “Kiruv Rechokim” implies:
a) The person doing Kiruv is closer than the person receiving it. This is arrogant and a putdown. It is indirectly saying. “I am closer to, G-d andTorah than you and reaching out to you”.
b) It is patently incorrect. The essence of every Jew is equally “close” to G-d and His Torah. There is no close or far. It is only a question of revealing it.
Even the more common term used: “Doing outreach” expresses this flaw in its terminology somewhat.
A more basic question is:
“What does a “Kiruv Professional” really mean?
What is gained by using this term?
Are we trying to delegate the responsibility of “Kiruv” to a group and shirk the responsibility from ourselves?
Are we saying that in order to reach out to another Jew one needs to be a “Professional” at it?
That special "training" is needed to bring another Jew closer to Judaism?
Of course it is good to know the answers to basic questions in Judaism when trying to explain Judaism, but one need not wait before reaching out.
I knew a old chosid from Russia, who befriended a Yid in America and used to say to him: “Zey A Yid”…”Lieg Tiffilin ”- “Be a Jew- put on tiffilin”.…and with time it he put on the Tiffilin.
Or one of my favorite stories of the famed Lubavitcher chosid,
R’ Mendel Futerfas a”h. Wanting to answer the call of the Rebbe, to get other Jews to put on Tifflin, but did not speak English fluently . He would approach another Jew in the street, airport, where ever. Dressing in his long black frock, sporting a white beard and a black Russian kaskate (cap).
R’ Mendel would grab the persons hand and say: “You Jew…I Jew….Tiffilin”! And guess what? The Jew put on the Tiffilin!
I think we need to be less “professional” and more “heart”.
Authentic Jewish caring, warmth and being a living example is what will bring Jews back, quicker than a smart answer and an impressive title under a name.
G-d willing next article on " Whose Baal Tshuva is it anyway"?
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