B”H
This article is in memory of my dear friend, Reuven Shalom Ben Avrohom a"h, a complete Bal
Tshuva, who passed on, Shabbat 26 Shvat of this year 5772.
Part 3 What makes a Bal T’shuva, do T’shuva? Suffering or Joy?
I remember listening to a tape, of a Rabbi M.F. who teaches and councils Balas T’shuva girls in
a Balas T’shuva school in the USA. He recounted this story.
There was a couple who had had recently married and come to him for advice.
Amongst other things discussed , Rabbi F. suggested that they observe the Mitzvah of Taharat
Ha’Mispocho- the Laws of Family Purity and Mikvah.
When the couple heard of this, they said: “Wow, we never heard of this, that is great idea”…
Rabbi F. , then asked them:
“Did you have a Rabbi who officiated your wedding? “Did you have a Chupa- a Jewish Marriage”?
They responded: “Yes. We had a Chupa and an Orthodox Rabbi officiated at the wedding.”
Rabbi M.F. did not respond but wondered; Why did the Rabbi not say anything to them, at their wedding.
A special mitzvah that is specifically for them.
Later he called the Rabbi and asked him. The Rabbis response was: “they did not look like
the type”.
The Alter Rebbe writes ( Tanya-Likuta Amorim Perek 2 ) that each Jew is a “Chelek Eloka Memal
Mamosh” – literally a part of G-d.
Which explains what Chasidus says in two expressions (Ha’Yom Yom 25 Tammuz):
1- A Jew recognizes G-dliness and that which is above nature, and needs no proof of it.
2- A Jew does not wish nor can separate themselves from G-d.
The reason for this is, because every Jew has in them, a piece of the essence of G-d.
The Bal Shem Tov (Hayom Yom 17 Iyar) wrote on the verse; “Ki T’hiya Attam Eretz Chefets Omar
Hashem”- that you (the Jewish people) are a desirable land, says G-d”.
The Bal Shem Tov explains this; "that as the greatest of all wise men, shall never fully grasp, the great
wealth that G-d has placed and hidden in the earth and land, at creation, so too none can fully grasp the
great spiritual wealth that is hidden inside every Jew.
The first rule of Kiruv, is never to look at the surface of the Jew but at the Neshomo; Soul.
The soul of every Jew desires G-dliness, even if they deny it. That is its true want, desire and reality.
The only way for the soul in a body to fulfill that need, is through Torah and Mitzvahs.
This is an actual Halachic fact in Torah Law.
The Rambam writes ( Nashim - Hilchot Gerushin 2: 20) regarding the case of a man who refuses to give
a “Get”- Jewish bill of divorce to his wife, even after the Beth Din- Jewish Court- has decided that by
Jewish Law he must do so.
The Beth Din has the right to beat him until he says yes, and orders the “Sofer”; scribe to write one for
him.
Once written the Beth Din submits it to his wife, as per the husband’s instruction and once she accepts it, the divorce is valid.
Even if later, the husband says that he was coerced; “I was beaten to comply”,
the bill is valid. Even though Jewish Law dictates that a “Get” must be given by the husband from his own
free will.
Why then is the “Get” kosher?
The Rambam explains (ibid), that once the Beth Din decides that he must give the “Get”, that becomes
Torah Law, and the observance of Torah Law, is the innate desire of every Jew.
That fact that he is protesting, is superficial, it is his body and evil inclination that is pushing him not to
listen to the Torah.
However once he gets beaten by the Beth Dins’ agent, his true will is revealed.
This is so not only with a “Get”, but in every case of Jewish law, The Torah is testifying to the true
"Ratzon-Will" of every Jew. This is, to do the will of G-d, as it is found in the Torah.
The Lubavitcher Rebbe was quoted as saying; “There are two types of Jews, one who puts on tiffilin and
one that does not put on tiffilin yet”.
However, there are none, who will never put on tiffilin, G-d forbid, in this lifetime or the next.
The Question is then; When and what will be the catalyst to bring out this real nature.
And the effectiveness of the person who is trying to reveal that G-dlly nature within.
This is important to know , when working on bringing a Jew back to Yiddishkiet
Do you view the Torah is an outside substance that the person must be convinced to accept, or is it
already inside them, waiting for the right catalyst and moment for it to be revealed.
Parenthetically it also tells on how we view the Yiddishkiet we ourselves are practicing.
Is it a part of us or an outside substance G-d forbid.
Regarding the catalyst, we do not really know what will trigger that innate desire. However G-d in His
Wisdom and Divine Providence, orchestrates events that bring His children back to Him.
(Lviltie yidach memanu nidach- Sefer Shmuel 2:14)
I know of a case, where a young Russian Jew was walking to work, on the way to the train, a Shul
needed a tenth man for a Minyan,
Someone from the Shul, went outside into the street to look for a “tenth” and found him walking by and
invited him in.
Once in, he asked questions and the people there began explaining the concept of a Minyan, the soul,
Kaddish etc. This was the catalyst that got him interested in learning more.
With time he became and is, thank G-d a fully observant Jew.
This particular person, must have had that desire, right underneath the surface, waiting for someone to
uncover it. For others, it can be far deeper and needs much digging.
There are many possible issues here as to why is the person not practicing Yiddishkiet;
Are they ignorant and never got the opportunity to learn, or are they rejecting it.
Is it past events and experiences with religious Jews?
Perhaps a personality issue or ideologically question…
Maybe it’s just a very strong desire to enjoy the physical world.
It is for you to understand, and help to overcome.
In addition there are as well, two general factors.
One positive and the other negative.
The Lubavitcher Rebbe writes in a letter ( Igras Kodesh ) that each and every Jew will eventually come
back to Judaism.
However for some it can be through goodness: G-d has given them abundance goodness and blessing
in their lives and they wonder why, and it leads them to G-d.
These people return to G-d because of an abundance of goodness in their lives.
Others G-d forbid, are suffering, and the pain and suffering makes them question the purpose of
their existence in this physical world. Why are they not succeeding? And they find Judaism.
They return to G-d because of suffering and pain, Hashem Yerachem.
However, ultimately, all Jews will return to G-d either in this life or another (Rambam).
G-d is usually patient with His children and allows time to pass, even if we do not yet observe His Law.
He also prefers we return to Him out of love and physical blessings and goodness not pain or suffering
G-d forbid.
In addition, it is very important to understand that:
1- We must love every Jew, regardless of practice or beliefs.
2-A Jew, even after sinning is still a Jew.
3-Most Jews today who do not practice, is not because they reject it out of understanding.
Todays Jews, are not like the "Apikoros"-; None-Believer, of old, they are rather, like a "Tinuk Shnishba" -"a-child raised up amongst the nations”. It is more an issue of lack of education and/or opportunity and/ or past negative
experiences. It can also be, that they cannot accept a certain law or teaching that they do
not agree with. And then just reject the whole thing because of it.
(see Rambam Hilchat Tshuva 3 on the terms- Apikoret-Mmin-Mummar-M'shumad- etc also see Igrat
Kodesh 2 letter 267 whether these terms apply today).
The Talmud teaches (Yuma 86.1) “Great is Tshuva for it brings healing to the world”.
In addition it brings healing to the person as well, as is written: V’shov Vrofo Lo-“and He will return and be healed”( Yishai 6:10)
In the end, the real reason why someone returns to Hashem, is that their soul drives them to it.
They do not feel right in life, and they are searching for it.
To conclude with a parable I heard from one of my teacher in chassidus R" Melech, that explains how the
soul will never be satisfied on earth, until it observes Torah and Mitzvahs, which connects it with what it
truly desires, G-d.
There was once a king who loved music. Every time a new musician or group would come, he would
have them play for him. Once, there was this beautiful song that was played and he,
loved it more than all others. After they left he yearned to hear it once more. Yet but did not
ask the name of the person playing it nor the name of the song
What did he do? He asked every musician that visited him to play music for him. Thinking, perhaps
amongst the songs these musician know, will be the one he is yearning for.
The king would have them play, song after song... after hearing a bit of it and seeing it was not "the
one", he would say "next" ..."next...
The same is with the subconscious of every Jew. The soul in every Jew has within it the "song from
heaven". Every Jew remembers the "song" of G-dliness, the source for where it has come and wishes
to return.
Once the soul descends down to earth it yearns for that "song"; its source. The connection with G-d,
and pleasure of G-dliness, but does not know where to find it.
So it seeks in all worldly pleasure, until it finds Torah and Mitzvahs.
This is the reason why a Jew will wander and experiment, with all forms of ideology and pursue all forms
of materialistic pleasure, for the soul is driving them to find the G-dly “song” contained only in Torah
and Mitzvah. Until the Jew/Soul finds that, they will keep exploring something new... and keep say;
"Next"...Next....
G-d willing next article:
part 4: Welcoming the Bal Tshuva into the community. Whose Job is it?
Too see more of my writings, please look at my blog :http://rabbiyw.blogspot.com/
I am also available G-d willing, for speaking engagements, lectures etc. a fee, to contact me,
Please email:
rabbiyw@yahoo.com
or call 1 646 595 6435
Thank you
y.winner
Congregation Israel of Kingsbay Brooklyn
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