fabrenta chosid- a burnt out chossid

fabrenta chosid- a burnt out chossid


i am too old to start again but not old enough, to not want to..,

to old to listen to eighth day but not old enough to hear dvekus chabad all day.



the "atzabim" sadness is from the idols of "gold" and 'silver"

love and fear of g-d ..."masa yida adom".....made by a human being- " chossid'



while davening "bavoda" and imagining he achieved a true service of hashem.

only to realize he set himself up for a fall.



"peh lhem" "mouths they have that speak chasidus:....but it is " lo yidaberu" ..

gornisht gezogt....nothing said...



'anaim lhom"...eyes they have.. but do not see" what they are and or the lesson and

hashgocho in each thing...


"aznnaim"..."ears they have....... but do not hear".....what they themselves are preaching..



a burnt out chossid too old to change, not old enough that it does not matter any more.

old enough to remember but not young enough to work on believing again....


haven fallen to many times to believe that just more time will make it work ,yet

to old to stop mechanically trying once again..Ulai--Efsher....maybe try just one more time keeps ringing in the head...

but the reality is :

ach lelokim.....domi nefshi....all i can do is silent my soul and look " lellokim...

to Hashem but yet hope that midos hadin; Elokim will become Rachamim...